I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
