just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
