Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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