It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
