they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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