He uses pillows to masturbate.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
