they need to just BURY HIM!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
