you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
