Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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