I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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