i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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