my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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