your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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