yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
