Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I cut my penus on the lid.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
