oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
