My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
