No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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