You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
