Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
