i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
