a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
They took my balls.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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