Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
