Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
