Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
