don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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