i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Too much gin, very little bucket
In America we eat man semen.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
