Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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