I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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