Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Randomize
