I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
