ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You have to summon your inner elephant
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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