try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
