Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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