you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
