I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
