i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
