New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
