exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
