"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
