i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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