He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
