Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
