Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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