Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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