i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
