I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
