Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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