I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
