We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This is not my ceiling
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
